"Guidelines for Tamil movie makers" ,circa 2020
The following document is a copy of a proposed state legislation from the year 2020, titled
"Guideline for Tamil moviemakers of 2020 and beyond.....".
I just happen to return from the future and brought this along with me. I hereby officially join Abdul Kalam in eagerly waiting for 2020.
1. Only real life Hindus shall play Hindus on screens. Similarly only Muslims shall play Muslims and Christians shall play Christians. Brahmins have to be played only by Brahmins and Thevars only by Thevars. And same holds for other castes too.
2. Only Tamils shall play Tamil. Non-tamils should play non-tamil's roles only.
3. No negative character shall be named after Gods or Godesses or mythological characters. So names like Ram, Sita, Ramesh, Mahesh, Murugan, Kumarsamy, Kandasamy, Padayappa, Rajeshwari, Lakshmi, Umadevi and so on are banned. Further if any character is shown having even one bad characteristic, then he/she should not be named after Gods and Godesses. There are a plethora of other names like A, Pi, Sqrroot, theta, gamma, alpha, onnu, rendu, athu, ithu, ivan avan, aval, porul,ange, inge, etc that can be used. Same rule holds for Muslim and Christian names too.
4.Also no one including alcoholics should be shown drinking. Same for smoking. Sex can only be implied, as has always been the case.
5.No woman shall be shown in bad light. This requires that women will always be good characters and will never play a negative role. Further all women shall wear traditional decent dresses only. No exposure of skin (except face and hands upto elbows) shall be allowed. Dream sequences as norm are excepted.
6.Family values will always be upheld in movies. So family members shall not be shown in any sort of bad light.
7.NRI's should not be shown in bad light. Especially the rich ones. This is bad for the stock marke and the country's economy.
8.Because of strategic relationships with USA and Isreal, no American or Israeli citizen shall be shown in bad light. And similarly no Pakistani shall be shown in good light.
9.Corporates shall not be shown in any kind of unfavourable vein. Also rich industrialists shall not be portrayed in any unflattering form. Such acts are bad for the economy.
10.Since Hindus believe that food and paper are very sacred, scenes displaying tearing them, stamping on them, throwing them etc won't be allowed.
11. Old people will always be shown respectfully in movies. So even if an old man is shot with a Bofors tank at almost point blank range, the man will fall at the same spot. Also no old person (55 years for women and enuch and 60 for men) shall be shown in bad light.
12. Similarly Politicians, government workers, police and army and ex-army personnel, lawyers, doctors,farmers, bankers, software engineers, BPO employees, scientists and filmmakers shall not be shown in bad vein.
13. State and society (past, present or future) as entities shall not be criticised in any manner.
14. It is expected that movies will generally help towards making a better, brighter and happier community and promote peace and harmony. So it is advised that only such stories be filmed only in such manner lest any one feels hurt, embarassed or unhappy.
15. As a special gesture we would like to honour Mr Vikraman, whose films have followed most of the above rules, even without our asking him to do so. If only all the movie makers had emulated Vikraman, such guidelines would become unnecessary.
posted by mutRupuLLi @ Thursday, January 01, 2009
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